Yep it’s that time of the year, in fact, it is midday on Christmas Eve as I type this out.
I haven’t really mentioned the holidays too much on purposes, as I have been trying to focus on just enjoying it and not dwelling on my PTSD. And, I will be brutally honest and say that it has not been easy. There have been more times than not that out of the blue I have been overcome with emotion. I have broken down in tears as Christmas music plays in the background and I have had a few times that I had to walk out of stores, leaving a cart with items in it. Christmas is hard at times even when things are good for a person but with PTSD, Christmas gets harder.
Despite this, I continue to focus on enjoying the season. I have pushed myself to go out to the stores, to buy gifts, and to get the house ready for the big day. If I had to identify the one thing that has kept me going, I would be able to say, without hesitation that it is my son. His excitement for the arrival of Santa has had the ability to push the dark away and make me see the joy and happiness that has been alluding me. This morning was the icing on the cake because he was up early and searching the Santa Tracker to see where the big guy is. He is excited, pumped, thrilled and down right spilling over with happiness. And the best part is that is infectious.
So, with that I will keep it short today and say Merry Christmas but ask that everyone take the time to reach out to that one member of your family or maybe a friend who is withdrawn or down. Call them or visit them to say hi and wish them a Merry Christmas. That one act could potentially save someone.