No, I am not going to attack Disney for its portrayal of Sleeping Beauty or any of the Disney characters, although I believe I could make a very strong argument to outline the years of abuse she suffered led to a damaging diagnosis of PTSD. Seriously, what else would cause someone to sleep all the time?
For me, sleep or being rested in general has been like searching for a unicorn. Apparently it is possible but it hasn’t been available to me yet. There are days where shortly after getting out of bed, I am solely focussed on trying not to return to bed to go back to sleep. I am in a constant state of exhaustion and ever do I feel rested throughout the entire day.
Part of the issue, according to the research I have been doing, is that your mind isn’t working properly so it takes a lot of energy to get through simple tasks. And I am not talking about anything extreme when I say tasks. I am referring to daily activities, brushing your teeth, preparing supper, writing a blog……. They all take a toll on you and can zap your energy fairly quickly.
But, what I find to be the real kicker is just being myself, trying to go about doing normal daily things. That can be too bad you ask? Well, when you consider that as soon as you leave you house, you become hyper vigilant about everything and anything around you, you put on a happy face even if you feel like crap mentally, and you fight back anxiety for being out in public, you can see the amount of energy you need to use to just be me. It amazes me just how much energy it takes to “put your best foot forward” to help others around you feel that you are doing good. I know, that sounds funny about even when you are at your lowest or down for the day, you still want to eliminate the worry and concern that others feel for you. So, the best way to do that is to make it look like you are okay.
But, as you can imagine, it has an impact on you. For me, it is exhaustion. For others, it could run the gambit of possibilities. It all depends and although there are some consistent symptoms and reactions with PTSD, in the ned, it is very individualized. I tend to take a lot of naps when I am exhausted or have time alone. I see it as a necessary evil as I know for me to be functioning and in the moment with family, as much as possible that is, I have to take the time to be semi-rested. Sunday for an example, we did hockey in the am, got back home and within an hour, I was out cold for a good 2 hours. I missed 2 hours of the day but it gave me the charge to spend the rest of the day doing stuff.
Today, I am going to try a different approach though. I start my return to work today and although it is only an hour of being in the office, I know I will be drained before too long. Heck, I am exhausted already and all I did was take the little guy to school and had breakfast. But regardless, my plan is to get home after, do som mindfulness exercises and stay away from the bed or couch for as long as possible. That’s the plan. Hopefully, I can pull it off and not sleep during he day today. If nt, I am going to have to work in nap time to my work schedule.