No, I am not about to go all New Age on you. But, I am going to tell you something that has helped me, that I walked away from and have now returned to because it helped me. That’s right meditation.
Early on in this journey, my psychologist suggested I consider looking at mindfulness training to help deal with all the little fun side effects of PTSD an d to help me ground myself in the moment. She went so far as to suggest an App to use so that I could simply do it at home and not have to subject myself to going out to a meditation group. Having nothing to lose, I decided to give it a try.
I did the 10 day program for beginners and I can honestly say that I noticed a difference in my outlook and how I dealt with things that came up. It changed my perspective to a degree and helped to calm me. Despite these positives, I stopped. Looking back on it, I think that this was the first time that I really allowed PTSD to win and push something out of my routine that was put there to help. It was a direct blow against me trying to regain myself and put a condition of PTSD. It took a number of months to figure this out.
But, like everything else that happens on this journey, you learn something new about yourself, and others but that is a whole different post. What I learned is that you have power over PTSD but you can easily lose that power, particularly if you are not staying focussed on what needs to be done. So, I have decided it is time to take back that power, especially considering that I have been feeling that the PTSD and Depression has been taking too much control and power away from me lately.
I will simply say that sitting down for the session just felt right. I quickly settled in and for the next 10 minutes, I just sat there in the moment. It felt good. I finished relaxed and focussed on the day. I guess sometimes, yu need to stumble backwards to learn what is needed to keep moving forward.
Shameless plug here……. for anyone wanting to know, I use the Headspace App that is available on Android and apple products. I paid for it myself (it was not a sponsored gift) and it was worth every penny. #Headspace