Maybe Bob is Right

day 3

So, maybe he’s right.  Maybe is it a matter of making way for a positive day?

Today wasn’t anything special or outstanding in any way shape or form.  In fact, it was very much a regular PTSD day.  And it went something like this….

Woke up as I usually do just after 6 am to help get my son going and ready for school.  After a cursory pat down to make sure he is not trying to smuggle Pokemon cards to school, I drop him off for the day.  I returned home and for the first time in a long time, my PTSD brain remembered that I had to register him for swimming today (small victory as I didn’t need to look at the copious amounts of “to do lists” that I have lying around to remind me of the things I need to do).  I ate breakfast and made an ill-advised choice to sit down on the couch.

What seemed like mere moments later but in reality was 2.5 hours later, I awoke from an apparent unplanned nap of epic proportions.  Now here is a bit of a flip on the norm.  Instead of sinking into a depression fueled funk because I wasted part of the day, I got up, grabbed my phone and earphones and did my Mindfulness exercise.  This turned things around and I was able to get the day going, again.

G and The Little Man got home and I was upbeat, ready and excited for them to be here.  We ate and they took off to do some shopping aka buying me my Christmas gift…..  So, as I was sitting in the house by myself, it dawned on me.  I had a pretty good PTSD day.  And I would go so far as to say that the sole reason is that instead of going negative, I make the choice to be positive and get on with things.  So maybe Bob is right.

But, I put a caveat on this positive day.  PTSD does not go down without a fight.  It has this knack of waiting til your guard is down before it will rear its ugly face when you are not ready or wanting it to happen.  That is my new normal.  Enjoying the good while you can because the bad can surface when you least want and need it.

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I am a husband and father who is dealing with PTSD while trying to be a husband and father

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